Four years ago this past week, we packed everything we still owned after our big yard sale and giveaway, and moved to Colorado.  Tater and the Perfect Child, cats, plants, my antique dresser, and a grumpy Klown.  Even four years later, I still remember how tense those last few weeks were as we made tough decisions about what was to come with us, and what needed to be left behind.  I was more on edge than I’ve ever been in my life.  I worried a lot about where we were going to end up, since we’d had to rent a duplex sight-unseen.  There was some savings, but we didn’t want to have to spend it in stop-gap housing when we arrived.  And I worried about things that might not survive the trip.  Both of the cats were in my car, and they were more than happy to sing me the song of their people the entire 1000 mile trip.  I worried about the Perfect Child, who’d had her license for less than two weeks, now driving one of our cars, following me on the highway as if she were a trailer to my car.

We were facing so many unknowns.  I had a job, but it was only temporary.  I had to believe I could turn it into a permanent job.  We had no health insurance, no fall-back plan in case things didn’t work out.  This was an all-or-nothing proposition.

And when I say “we,” it was really just me.  As the financial pillar for our family, everything was falling onto my shoulders.  When I was laid off, it was devastating.  My first thought had been, “what about my retirement?”  I had been paying faithfully into the plan, and was due to retire in ten years.  That was now gone.  My second thought had been, “what about health insurance?”  Having a child with expensive medication needs leaves you scared about how you’re going to pay for it.  The last thing I thought of is, “how am I going to find a job?”  Being 50, female, working in a specialized field, and in the middle of a recession, I felt my odds were pretty slim.

But it did all work out.  That first duplex was livable, if not great, and within two months I had turned my temporary job into a permanent job.  Klown had found work, as had the Perfect Child.  Tater was happily enrolled in a new school, and we had health insurance again.  And I was paying into a retirement plan again.  It will take me longer to get to retirement, but I didn’t lose my previous retirement – it just will not be as big as it was originally going to be.  In the end, everything worked out.

Doesn’t it somehow always do that, despite our worries, and stresses?  And I still live in the most beautiful place on the planet.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

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