I am quickly approaching the five-month mark in my healing.  As you last saw, the healing is slow going, and sometimes painful.  I try not to spend a lot of time thinking about it, but just keep going about my daily duties.  I still have to think before I take a long walk, and a busy or active day will leave me feeling sore and limpy the next day.  Biking is no problem whatsoever, as it is pretty much non-weight-bearing, and unless I’m not careful when I step off the bike, I should have no problems.  I have been riding 10-11 miles each time, three days a week.  I would ride more but I just don’t have time.

Two days ago as I was working in the yard trying to clean up winter’s mess and get my gardens in shape for summer, I stepped on the edge of a piece of treated lumber that is buried along our walkway as a sort of “edging,” which forced my foot to turn outward, the same way it did when I dislocated my ankle.  I gasped and stopped, but stood still.  The one thing I fear the most, turning that ankle hard again, bringing on a repeat of the pain, did not happen.  In fact, my ankle felt incredibly sturdy and there was no pain at all, not even any stiffness.  I stepped off the foot and wiggled it and stepped down on it flat, and it felt fine.

Big sigh of relief.

However, I know there is a bit of PTSD messing with my brain these days.  I will be sitting somewhere, or laying in bed, and think about going downstairs, and have a pretty vivid vision of falling down those stairs.  I fall down the stairs a whole lot more than I’d like, but my fear is irrational.  Everything in my body clenches, and I get light-headed, and I’ve not done a thing but THINK about falling.  I hope this eases over time.  It’s probably my worst symptom.

I have pretty full range of motion, with no sign of a limp except when I am walking too fast or with a longer gait.  My regular bike rides have helped my stamina considerably, which means my overall strength is improving.  I still have a lot of numbness on above the instep, and that will probably be there for years.  It may never go away.  If too much pressure is placed on that area, by a shoe that is too tight or if I bang it on something, the resulting sensation is over the top.  So I’m still treating it carefully.  I still cannot sit with my feet stretched out on the couch or bed, that ankle just aches like someone is twisting it.  So I hang the foot off the edge of the bed, and that seems to help.  I don’t know if that will ever go away either.

There’s no doubt that I still have healing to go, and there’s no doubt that I will always have some impairment in that leg regardless of how hard I work to rehab it.  It still looks like there’s a donut around my ankle, and the foot swells sometimes, and there are shoes I can’t wear yet.  Sandals?  Nothing but flipflops at this point, and those are kind of dangerous so I try not to wear them anywhere but around the house.  Me and my tennis shoes are getting quite the workout.

I am thankful to be walking, to be able to do most of what I want to do.  I’ve got to keep that in mind, no matter what!

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