Happy Mother’s Day, and Other Stories
Today, I want everyone to thank their mother for putting up with them. Whether you thought you were the “good” kid, or knew for sure you were the trouble-maker, you owe your mom a lot of thanks.
You might ask what brought this on. Well, there’s a story behind that, as you’ve probably figured out.
This morning the girls and I woke up to Klown hollaring about his car. He was supposed to be at work at 7, and apparently something was wrong. So much for sleeping in. So I got up, and he’s in the Perfect Child’s room yelling at her to call the teenage boys she knows to find out who “covered my car in silly string”, and T.P.’d her car. She’s trying to wake up, cell phone in hand, texting two teenage boys who are probably still asleep at that hour of the morning.
And me? I laughed. This did not go over well. I walked outside with him to see this “covered in silly string” car only to find a few strands of it, most of it having ended up in the bushes and on the ground. As we all know, teenage boys have great aim. Very great aim. I laughed again. Klown was not amused. “Not very mature.” Really. These ARE teenage boys we’re talking about here, right? So maturity is not part of the equation, no more than spectacular aim with a spraying device is.
I think Klown needs a new name: Kurmudgeon. Really. This, to me, was just a silly prank. No one sprays your car with silly string and unrolls an entire roll of toilet paper around it because they want to do you harm. Harm would have been a rock through the window or flattened tires. This means that someone likes our teenage daughter. I never had the wonderfulness of having my car TP’d. I wasn’t the popular girl. My daughter, on the other hand, is, and that’s okay by me. There are way worse things in this world.
Of course, the Perfect Child is taking her cue from Klown, and she’s angry too. I explained to her that getting mad was not going to help, that there was no harm done at all to her car, or to Klown’s, and that this is just a teenage thing. Then I had to tell her that I had TP’d my fair share of cars in my time. It was done as a sign of respect and a way to say “I like you, even if you don’t know who I am, and I am never going to admit that I did this to your car.” Yeah. I was 19, away at college, had a couple girlfriends who were more than happy to help as long as I helped them with their pranks too.
By the way, I was the “good girl.” I was the one my mother never worried about. I didn’t drive to fast, I didn’t drink, I didn’t smoke, I didn’t stay up late at night or stay out until all hours of the morning. That was my brother. That wasn’t me. I didn’t TP a car until I was away at college. How would I have explained my behavior to my mother, sneaking in the house after midnight, giggles and snorts and all. And looking back, I’m not even sure my mother would have been as upset as my father. I love my dad, he’s an awesome guy in a lot of ways, but you would think he’d never learned how to have fun as a kid. Oh, I know he did, I’ve heard some of those stories, but in the way of most parents, those stories are not going to be shared all that openly with children. You know, in case they take a cue from your earlier bad behavior and try it themselves.
If the worst I ever did was TP the car of the guy I had a crush on (who didn’t even know I existed, of course), then I’m okay. And this teenage boy (the one who silly-stringed Klown’s car and TP’d the Perfect Child’s car (yes, we know which teenage boy it was) caused absolutely no harm with the prank, and if this is the worst he ever does? He’s fine.
And so are we.
Happy Mother’s Day!
